“Are you scared of death?” She asked. So casually it made me wonder if she at all knew the gravity of the words she had uttered. The phrase stopped my heart’s beating for a moment, and when it did start to beat again,it had lost its rhythm.
"And the stupor of death shall come in truth, this is what you have been avoiding."
Of course I was scared of death. It was not the thought of being forgotten but the agony one must go through.
I continued to stare out the window, let my consciousness wither with the splashes of the rain. I studied carefully how only the leaves of trees danced to the silent humming of the wind. For a moment there, I just wanted to be a tree. Stand still, tall, seemingly unshaken and unwavering yet so humbly submissive.
Humbly submissive.
I reflected upon this trait. Humility.
Here I was, weak, desperate, wanting...yet my entire being coated with arrogance and vanity. Walking upon the earth with head up high and even when I bowed, my Bowing was devoid of the humble submission.
More than anything now, I wanted to save my sister. She had been my companion and I, hers for as long as I remember.
"And instead of thanking Allah for the provision, you deny [the provider]? Then why, when the soul reaches the throat and you are at that time looking on- and Our angels are nearer to him than you, but you do not see- then why do you not, if you are not to be recompensed, bring it back, if you should be truthful?"
I felt a subtle warmth on my forearm yet, I refused to turn to her. I didn’t know if I had the strength..the strength to look at her weak eyes and tell her she wasn’t going to die. Not yet, not here, not like this.
“Are you scared?” She repeated. This time with a quiver in her voice. As though my silence prompted her to acknowledge the significance of her words. As though, now she really wanted me to comfort her with my answer. Tell her that death is good. Death is not a menace but a peaceful return for every believer, to Ar-Rahman.
"No soul knows what it shall earn tomorrow or in which land it will die..."
A hot stream of tears took course from my eyes and I could not hold them back any farther. I had promised myself to be strong for her but my weakness had gotten the Better of me. I could not tell her that I wasn't scared for I would be lying to myself. My heart ached in that moment and I wondered in which state I too will return.
I stopped myself, searched for words and in that moment, they betrayed me. I chided myself internally but I knew I could not lie to her. She knew me well enough.
With calculation, I raised my right hand from where it lay on my thigh and let my palm rest on her hands. She cringed a bit under its cold, but I held it, refused to let it go, and with the same quiver replied “I am scared of what follows it.”
"Oh you who believe! Fear Allah and let every soul look to what it has prepared for the morrow, and fear Allah, surely He is aware of Allah that you do." {Surah Al-Hashr, Ayah 18}
-Written by Umm Yunus
Stay Blessed, TIW.
"And the stupor of death shall come in truth, this is what you have been avoiding."
Of course I was scared of death. It was not the thought of being forgotten but the agony one must go through.
I continued to stare out the window, let my consciousness wither with the splashes of the rain. I studied carefully how only the leaves of trees danced to the silent humming of the wind. For a moment there, I just wanted to be a tree. Stand still, tall, seemingly unshaken and unwavering yet so humbly submissive.
Humbly submissive.
I reflected upon this trait. Humility.
Here I was, weak, desperate, wanting...yet my entire being coated with arrogance and vanity. Walking upon the earth with head up high and even when I bowed, my Bowing was devoid of the humble submission.
More than anything now, I wanted to save my sister. She had been my companion and I, hers for as long as I remember.
"And instead of thanking Allah for the provision, you deny [the provider]? Then why, when the soul reaches the throat and you are at that time looking on- and Our angels are nearer to him than you, but you do not see- then why do you not, if you are not to be recompensed, bring it back, if you should be truthful?"
I felt a subtle warmth on my forearm yet, I refused to turn to her. I didn’t know if I had the strength..the strength to look at her weak eyes and tell her she wasn’t going to die. Not yet, not here, not like this.
“Are you scared?” She repeated. This time with a quiver in her voice. As though my silence prompted her to acknowledge the significance of her words. As though, now she really wanted me to comfort her with my answer. Tell her that death is good. Death is not a menace but a peaceful return for every believer, to Ar-Rahman.
"No soul knows what it shall earn tomorrow or in which land it will die..."
A hot stream of tears took course from my eyes and I could not hold them back any farther. I had promised myself to be strong for her but my weakness had gotten the Better of me. I could not tell her that I wasn't scared for I would be lying to myself. My heart ached in that moment and I wondered in which state I too will return.
I stopped myself, searched for words and in that moment, they betrayed me. I chided myself internally but I knew I could not lie to her. She knew me well enough.
With calculation, I raised my right hand from where it lay on my thigh and let my palm rest on her hands. She cringed a bit under its cold, but I held it, refused to let it go, and with the same quiver replied “I am scared of what follows it.”
"Oh you who believe! Fear Allah and let every soul look to what it has prepared for the morrow, and fear Allah, surely He is aware of Allah that you do." {Surah Al-Hashr, Ayah 18}
-Written by Umm Yunus
Stay Blessed, TIW.